Holiday Letters

Dear Santa

How are you? I am fine. I hope you had a very good year. I have been very good all year long, even though my brother is bad. It’s easy to be good when I think of how mean he is. In the summer, he put Ned the bunny in the refrigerator. Ned was very cold even though he has fur, because he isn’t from the North pole like you are. Do the raindeer live outside, or do you let them in? They don’t have much fur. In case you forgot about my first letter, I want a phone that plays music and has all the letters for texting. I’m in 4th grade now, and I don’t like kid stuff any more. I’m sure that I will be very happy with what you brought, because it is going to be even better than Jills phone.

Anastasia

P.S. These cookies and milk are for you. I made them myself. The cut up apple is for the raindeer. It’s a golden deliscious.



My Sweet, Tender Child

Oh my! What a gracious and well-written note. 4th grade, indeed! You seem so grown up that I thought for a minute that I was in the wrong house. Once I had peeked at you while you slept, of course, I was very relieved. You are every bit as plump as I was led to believe, and your bed is certainly tall enough for anyone who might wish to live underneath it. Anyone such as myself. Allow me to make the introduction: I am your new guest; the Goblin who Lives Under the Bed.

Don’t worry, I won’t eat you tonight.

You see, I am still full from my last meal, as well as tired from the move over here. I’m glad you have such a roomy closet for napping in! I was even more glad for the cookies and milk you left me, although I later discovered that they were, in fact, not for me. Ah well, what’s done is done. I’m afraid I did finish off the milk, but since I only took one bite of the cookies, I shall leave the rest for the esteemed S. Claus. Are these apples? How grotesque.

Do not fear, scrumptious one. I shall not be an intrusive roommate. In fact, you may never even see me, and certainly not during the day. I do not intend to cause you any undue terror. After all, terror will only make you thin. So relax, eat these cookies yourself, and try not to get too much exercise.

I shall be watching you.

Your G. Under Bed



Hey Kid
You might want to have a talk with your pops about stealing. It looks like he got to the milk and cookies before I did. It also looks like he didn’t care much for the cookies, so you might want to have a talk with your mom about taking cookies out of the oven before they turn to stone. But listen, the reindeer really appreciate the apple. Not many kids think of them.

Merry Christmas, and all that.
Santa

P.S. I just saw the note from Goblin. That’s a tough one, kid. I‘m sorry to hear about it. There’s not much I can do, since you didn’t wish to be rid of him for Christmas. But your brother did wish for a Buck knife and karate lessons, so maybe he can help you out. If your brother hasn’t taken care of it by Easter, try leaving some salad and a note for Bunny. Maybe he can leave you some special eggs. Of course, there’s always next Christmas, but I get the feeling that this will be all over by then. One way or another.